Shredded_Moonlight's Xanga

One day...

Mon, 08 Jan 2007 11:00:14 GMT

If I were to say I had something written, something planned. Quick, mad, rushed, raw, crazy, depriving, emotional, depressing, uplifting, revealing, hurt, angry, depressed, maddening. Writhering.

If my words were to lead to something. Lead to anything. Frustrastion, tears, laughter, annoyance, fear.

Depression. Agony.

Irony?

Hatred.

Adoration?

Demanding.

Trigger, never, spazz, always. DANMIT!

Emotional, moving, driven. Sadness.

Happiness?

Hope.

Tears, sobbing.

Laughter, relief!

Wanting.

~*~

Half of what I say will leave the ears once it's been said.

Half of what I do will be ignored.

Half of everthing will be forgotton.

Everything, anything.

I just wanna let go...

...and fly.

Monday, July 10, 2006

Mon, 10 Jul 2006 04:25:06 GMT

HOMFG, do I never update this thing?

I remember always writing my soul into this thing, like when, high school first started. XP

Haha, phunnny

Sat, 15 Apr 2006 15:03:19 GMT

My Xanga looks all dark and emo. I never update this thing.

I justopened my mail box, and it said I got 1000 hit on here. I logged onto myspace and it said 1000 hits as well. HAHA. I think thats funny, I have this thing for a couple years, and reaches 1000 at the exact same time as my Myspace, which I've only had for a few months.

Wallowing in annoyances

Mon, 02 Jan 2006 05:01:42 GMT

Bitch bitch bitch bitch, Whine whine whine, nage, bitch, Punch!

I'm so annoyed at the world right now(what a great way to enter the new year).

I've baerly talked to any of my friends, yet the few time I have, it's because they want to use me for something! I'm tired of it!

NOBODY has even notided that, HEY when they ask me to do something, I'm asking Who, where,am I driving and how much money?

Look. See. Get a clue. Things arn't as wonderful as they used to be. Right now, with family situations, and the lack of job, I don't have time for your whiny bullshit.

Stop asking me to do crap for you. Do you have any idea how that makes me feel? That you only want me around for a free ride?

And I don't appreciate the condecending attitudes either.
If you would kill them, I would be much obliged.
Kthanxbai

K-san, if your reading, this dosn't concern you. I highly enjoyed/needed that trip to andretti and the mall. Thanks again for the shirt.

~*~

in 10 days and 8 1/2 hours till I'm 18. I and can't wait. Hopefully turning 18 will get me better job offers. I already plan on Andretti, and I'm going to check up on the one I turned in to Barnes and Nobel.

I babysit the brats later today, so tommorow I plan on doing some serious searching.

Saturday, December 31, 2005

Sat, 31 Dec 2005 22:30:56 GMT

I CONFESS THAT IN 2005 I...

(x Woohoo!) stayed single the whole year.
( ) got your first kiss
( ) kissed someone new
( ) made-out for the first time
( ) made-out in/on a car
( ) kissed in the snow
( ) kissed in the rain
(x) fell in love
(x) fell in love with a fool
(x) had your heart broken
(x) broke someone else's heart
(x) had a stalker
(x) had a good relationship with someone
( ) questioned your sexual orientation
( ) came out of the closet
( ) gotten pregnant
( ) gotten someone else pregnant
( ) had an abortion
( ) gotten married
( ) had a divorce
( ) had a gay marriage
(x on the cheek) kissed someone of the same sex
( ) dated someone you'll never forget
(X) done something you've regretted
( ) lost your true love
(x) lost faith in love
(x) regained faith in love
( ) kissed under miseltoe

WORK/SCHOOL

(x) got a promotion
( ) got a pay raise
(x) changed jobs
( ) lost your job
(x) quit your job
( ) dated a co-worker
( ) dated your boss
( ) dated your boss' daughter/son
( ) got fired from your job
( ) got straight A's
(X) met one teacher you really like
(X) met one teacher you really hated
(x) found the subject you love
(Almost! Haha) failed a class
(x!) cut class
(X) skipped school
(x) got into a fight with a classmate
(x) did something you were proud of
(x) discovered a new talent
( ) gave the teachers a reason to teach
(X) proved yourself an idiot
( ) embarassed yourself in front of the class
( ) fell in love with a teacher
( ) got a lead in the school play
(Does Drill team count?) made a varsity team
(XXX) were involved in something you'll never forget
(x) got sent to the office

OTHER

(x) painted a picture
(x) wrote a poem
(x) ran a mile
(XXX) listened to music you couldn't stand
(x) double-dipped
( ) skinny-dipped
(x) went to a sleepover
( ) went to camp
( ) threw a surprise party
(XXX) laughed till you cried
( ) laughed till you peed in your pants
( ) flirted shamelessly
(I want toooooo!!!!) visited a foreign country
(x) visted a foreign state
( ) cooked a disasterous meal
(x) lost something important to you
(x) got a gift you adore
(X) realized something new about yourself
(x) went on a diet
( ) tried to gain weight
( ) dyed your hair/highlights
(xxxxxxx) came close to losing your life
( ) someone close to you died
(x) went to a party
(x) drank alchohol
( ) did (a) drug(s)
( ) got drunk
( ) got arrested
(XXXX) read a great book
(X Harry Potter) saw a great movie
( ) saw a movie so scary that it made you cry
( ) saw your favorite band/artist live
( ) saw someone famous in person
(X) did something you want to tell everyone
( ) Enjoyed this year overall

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Sat, 24 Dec 2005 04:23:13 GMT

Say hello to the forgotton
All that I want
May be that I need

Lieing to myself is a simple as that
Yearning for material things
Not for me, Not right now
Now I just want to step away

Is it that hard to see
So hard to say?

Here comes the begining and the
End of the day
Ready for it, I'll stand strong
Even if I fade bleeding into the floor.

SAM LYNN IS HERE.- Yeah, every now and then I post.

HappyMerry Chrismahanzakwanzaka!

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Thu, 15 Dec 2005 19:17:56 GMT

Now come on, who like the new backround? Miyavi is teh HOT.

A bit of a glance at his new look.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Wed, 14 Dec 2005 00:51:00 GMT

NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, I don't feel GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD

;_;

Someone save me if you will...(and take away all these pills) AKA I don't want no drama

Wed, 14 Dec 2005 00:49:55 GMT

I don't want no drama... no, no, no, no drama.

~*~

It really pisses me off, when people take my words, and misquote me. I've had so much shit because people A) don't listen to what I say or B) twist it so they can do what they will, with MY life.

If you're gonna fucking use my words, then get them right. If you're gonna bring up something I said in a converstation, use like, a warning or something, like "The person I am about to quote is really anal-retenitive when people say shes said somethig, pardon if it takes a few minets, so I can get it right, and she won't have to face my own DOOFUS misconceptions, and CRACK-tastic consiquences."

WOO-HOO! One sentance! And you can quote me on it.

Do I not use simple enough words for you? Sorry if I'm to busy *trying* to become smarter, and actually go somewhere, and in the process, expand my vocabulary. Sorry if I don't want to dumb myself down to whatever level your at. Life as a teenaged high-schooler in a shallow world makes me stupid enough as it is.

~*~

I'm starting to feel that "OMG RUN AWAY!" feeling again. Yes... that one... eek, boys... must hide.

Previously it was "I'm 96.9% sure he likes me. The other percent is lost in disbeleif that any guy could possibly *like* me"

Now it's "O_O" and "Damnit Ashley, that's not what I'm saying!" ^See above rant.

Wants to set me up? Ha, only if you can find me. Stupid girl, manipulating my words. Never said I wanted to go out with him. I was only asking if he liked me. Oh, and the whole "You whine 'I've never had a boyfreind!'" NOT! It's more like-
Me: "Haha *bragbrag* I've gone this long without sex, I've never had a boyfriend, saving my first kiss for someone I actually want to kiss, and I've lived my life happily without these things!"
*Looks at shocked looks at others*
*enjoys it*
Although they take it as this-
Others: "OMG How can you LIVE! Never had a boyfriend? Lets set you up! You must have been so lonly! Poor dear! Not having a boyfreind! How can anyone live that way!" *dramatic screaming*
Me: *Hides*

*Oh! THE AGONY!* </drama>

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Thu, 29 Sep 2005 03:28:47 GMT

I have a mean face. And a collective number of occurances in my life have brought me to this conclusion.

For one, theres this girl (great sentance there) who is a friend of friend. Said friend said we both had an interest in the same guy, but it didn't matter much to me, because I honestly belive I don't have a chance. So, continuing life as normal, I go into the ROTC room before school like usual, then I notice someone new. Seeing how I'm naturally curious at heart, I gave her a quick once over to see who she was (with no emotion on my face whatsoever), then looked away. I didn't know who she was, or that she was my friends friend untill I saw her MySpace and conected the dots. I've never even talked to her!

Which breings me to the conclusion. Friend told me that Girl said that when shes in the ROTC roomwhen I enter I give her a dirty look.

Wah?!?!?!? (Is confused) Huh? In the mornings I'm usually an emotioneless blob with a blank face. How does that manifest into a dirty look?

The second thing. At my job, I have to face customers allmost all night, even when I do the fry-station. But I'm mostly in the drive-thru, taking orders, making drinks, taking money, and handing out the food. During a rush, this can get really stressful. Yet as a worker of the 'Friendly' Whataburger, showing anger is as good as asking for less hours, or flipping out a pink slip. So when we have a rush, I slip into this robotic mind-set. Therfore, while I'm a manic at getting these things done right, and on time and all that jazz, I'm afraid I can't spare a smile unless I remind myself.

So basically, as I do my job, I let none of my feelings come-out. Bringing me to my point. My face must look mean, ar even angry unless I make a concious effort to show passion.

And my third reason... I DO have to look at myself sometimes. Every morning when I brush my teeth, there I am in the mirror. I've seen pictures from competitions from when I was still on Color Guard, and I look down-right pissed, but I'm only concentration on the routine.

Maybe its the eyebrows, which are really dark agasnt my complection, and are kinda angled.

In conclusion, I have a mean face. Rawr...

~*~*~*~

Feeling sick again... At work me and the other girls working (Jami, Alica, and Tara) were cramped in a cornor sneaking onion rings, when I noticed a off-clock manager coming-in. I was all "Ahh! *Insert name*, Hi!!!" Jumping away from the rest so they could hide or whatever. What they end up doing is pretty funny. We all scatter, Alica and Tara going "hi". And Jami ends up stuffing an OR in her pocket! We end up laughing hysterically once the manger left (OR in the pocket?!?!? Bwahahaha!)

Yet all this laughing cased me to start coughing, and I ended up doing the *Cough*gag*dry-heave* routine that's been happening lately.

Ugh!!!